Despair

​My wings are clipped, and I fall
I brace for impact
But I fall through the earth
 
I land in a dark room lined with soft blankets
I pull one around my shoulders, but it disappears like mist
False comfort
 
Shelves are lined with chocolate, dark and rich
Melted cheese sandwiches and potato chips
Bottomless glasses of wine
 
But they taste like cardboard
They offer no nourishment for my soul
False comfort
 
A seductive voice calls
Look at your pain and behold its exquisite beauty
Caress it, love it, embrace it
 
Stay, sleep, the seductive voice whispers
The world won’t miss you
You’re not good enough
 
Its tempting to stay in the dungeon of despair
Hiding from life, hiding from light
But there is only false comfort here
 
I can’t stay
I need light
I need life
 
I claw my way up towards the light
Pulling myself hand over hand up the dark walls
With agonizing slowness
 
My fingernails are lined with earth
My muscles burn
But I’m out
 
I collapse on the ground, exhausted
Still raw and in pain
But craving true comfort
 
I stand on shaky legs
Not sure I can make it
Not sure I’m good enough
 
I don’t want to ho back into that dungeon
With its false comfort and false promises
Lies
 
Up here
Pain fades, happiness grows, light glows
Real comfort